


Don't Shout Fire (even if there is one)

by bellimyss



Series: Lacunas [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Explicit Language, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentioned Clarke Griffin/Finn Collins - Freeform, Mentioned Finn Collins - Freeform, Mentioned Jasper Jordan - Freeform, Mentioned John Murphy - Freeform, Past Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8926726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellimyss/pseuds/bellimyss
Summary: If there was one thing Bellamy and Raven were good at, it was bouncing back.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the next fic in the series ~~sorry it took so fucking long~~ and it details Raven and Bellamy's interaction after Jasper gets held hostage by Murphy. I took into account the fact that so many different things happen in one night i.e. they have sex, they find clarke, finn and monty are missing, they set up landmines, raven yells at bellamy and then he makes a scene etc, etc. The 100 timeline is kind of fucked but I thought it'd be fun to try and work with it. You'll see this one is a bit shorter than the first. Most of the fics in this series are going to vary greatly in length just because it's canon compliant. So some moments will need 10k words and some will only need 2k. But I'm a ham so I'll try to squeeze out as many words for every Ravenbell moment I can before I start to annoy myself. 
> 
> This one's pretty to the point. Clearly Raven and Bellamy made a plan to get into the drop ship through the floor so yes. this is it. 
> 
> Enjoy.

    Raven had just, that night, begun picturing a world without Finn in it. It was easier for her to imagine him being gone entirely than it was to know it was really just _her_ world that he was abruptly leaving. She was so convinced that a mutual passion for each other was what existed between them. That it was what drove her there to the ground. She didn't expect it would completely fall apart. Or prove to be nothing like she thought it was. Maybe she just had to drop out of the sky at a thousand miles per hour to finally snap out of it. She had never really wished that Finn suddenly become non existent but upon finding out that he'd gone missing it felt like she had jinxed something by even entertaining the idea. _In a world with no Finn, Raven would be dead. She would have starved. She wouldn't have lived past seven years old._ She kept thinking about it over and over again and eventually started to psych herself out. What would she do if he were gone now? Would she instantly drop dead? 

With the grounders heading their way she wouldn't have to worry about that much longer. 

    Chilling waves of energy flowed out of the ground and hovered, statically, around Raven's crouched body. It was like the earth was dead. In space, the deep, black vastness and stale air was freezing and paralyzing. But there was almost nothing in space _but space_. Down here on Earth, there were trees and mountains and a swirling, molten sea lying deep beneath its crust. There were animals and people down here. Bodies. Pumping blood. And the Earth still felt so cold. Raven understood the affects of atmosphere and weather and radiation. _Of course._ But was saddened to now know that life doesn't always equal warmth. She was beginning to think this place was cursed. There was a strange taste in the back of her throat; likened to extreme self-consciousness and a burning sensation. Burning from needing to cry so much but desperately pushing it back, holding it in behind your sinuses. Now that she was back into her element, she felt out of place, like she had suddenly become incompetent. Unable to do her best. Raven knew this wasn't true. She was still doing her job better than anyone else could. But she felt like she wasn't meeting her normal expectations for herself. Raven had always been a worker. In some ways, it was how she kept herself distracted from everything; from being overwhelmed by her fears. But now it wasn't helping. She was so racked with anxiety that she was having trouble concentrating and her chest felt tight. And throughout the night, that feeling only got worse.  
     The camp was mostly quiet, with a few chirps sounding off here and there. Mostly Miller barking at the gunners he was readying on the other side of the drop ship. Raven could feel a tensity resonating that had built up exponentially after Bellamy lectured them all. She wanted so badly to stay angry at him, and she almost let herself, but she knew Bellamy had very good reason to keep people from venturing beyond the walls. They'd been out of camp for no more than ten minutes before Monty completely vanished and he didn't want that happening again. Neither did she. But the thought of Finn being at the mercy of grounders made her want to grab a gun and forget about everything that awaited the remaining group of delinquents. It was the circumstances that she was truly frustrated with. The impossible nature of the scenario they were caught in. Not necessarily Bellamy. Clarke, Finn and Monty were important to her. It felt disloyal to not go after them. _But what about all of the kids still here?_ Raven went mad trying to pick one over the other. Bellamy had done it. But she was having trouble. 

"Hey, can you grab this?" Raven said to one of the kids a few feet away as they both reached their arms out and she handed them a long wire that was meant to act as a trigger for igniting the gun powder in the landmines. 

At this point, the gully was mined about 60% but that was it. Raven wondered what was taking Jasper so long with the rest of the gun powder. She'd sent him for it ten minutes ago. They were going to need it to complete the mines along the south wall, too. She patted down the last clumps of soil over a mine that she'd dropped into a ten inch deep cylindrical hole. Raven, along with seven other kids and Jasper, had dug about ten separate holes, housing landmines that were meant to act as a defensive deterrent right outside the wall of the front entrance to the camp. She knew it was a good idea, considering they'd be surrounded from all sides in this fight but it felt as though they were trapping themselves in. She'd considered the loss of powder for ammunition before pitching the idea and Bellamy gave her the go-ahead but he resisted the whole way. Bellamy's resolve was harsh but his tactics were logical. They made sense. Just a bit less sense when Raven's desperate need for Finn to be back and her guilt to be resolved was thrown into the mix. Bellamy seemed like the type who always accepted that surviving meant you had to make difficult decisions but he clearly loathed it. Nothing about it was satisfying for him. What was satisfying was seeing those decisions save lives, but that was never a guarantee. Something happened to Bellamy's demeanor when things became alarmingly stressful. He was panicking and Raven could tell. It was hard for her to watch him blow up like he did. Half of the camp was huffing under its breath about his decision. No one understood how he was so confident in it. Raven understood why. She just hadn't really cared. But while she busied herself with work out in the brisk early morning, having time to ruminate on what was happening around her, she started to. Thin lines of dirt built up underneath her finger nails. She wiped her damp hands on her pants and stood herself upright, straightening out her spine. She tipped her head back and inhaled deeply, swallowing the crisp, woody air. It tasted hollow and thin and offered her lungs no relief.   
     As soon as she exhaled, all of the blood rushed from her head. She kept having these uncontrollable flashbacks to Bellamy's bed; his lips brushing lightly on her neck. Her fingers clawing at his shoulder blades. Their bodies tied together in a heated knot. Acute surges of adrenaline shot up from her chest and into her arms. She could still feel his large hands wrap themselves around her and it would cause her to stop and lift her head, trying, with difficulty, to reel herself back in. She couldn't believe a few hours ago that had been them. The whole moment felt juxtaposed against the terrifying picture that that entire night had been. Very strangely placed. And like she told Bellamy before. _It hadn't helped._ But that didn't stop her from thinking about it.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bellamy stood in front of the drop ship door slightly shocked and unsure of what to do with himself. He would have torn down the door with his own two hands if he could have. But he was stuck and problems were closing in from all sides. He had to assume Jasper was alive. Bellamy was the last person on a short list of people who helped string Murphy up. Two out of three were dead. Bellamy was the last stop. If it was him that Murphy really wanted, he was just using Jasper as leverage. With no hostage, he had nothing. Bellamy failed to keep an eye on Murphy while they were preparing for the grounder attack. He'd completely forgotten that he was around. It was late but most of the kids were up working on landmines, setting up wooden platforms and foxholes for gunners to post up while they defended the camp. Some were organizing the group's food and water rations to make sure they'd have enough in case they were in for a long couple of days. Some were loading bullets. The rest were sitting amongst themselves, solemnly awaiting their fates around the fires that sat in between the tents. But once Murphy abruptly shut the door and Bellamy yelled from the outside, the well-working dynamic of the place shut down entirely. They saw just as much of what happened as he did and they were freaked out, just the same. After giving himself a few seconds to let it sink in, Bellamy awkwardly shifted his weight and tried to keep his manner relaxed. He could feel the camp's eyes on him. Waiting for him to look at them directly so they could garner some insight from his expression. He bit the skin on the inside of his lower lip and loosened his grip, which he realized was coiled into a tight ball. 

"Bellamy, what's going on?" A tall, lean girl with long dark hair and tanned skin, cheeks spotted with dirt, stood a few feet from Bellamy's back and leaned in, while three people stood behind _her_ , all of them awaiting Bellamy's response. "What's Murphy done to Jasper?" she said, in a quiet, but exasperated, tone. 

Bellamy hesitantly turned his head around and met faces with the girl, who looked about as weary, but somehow overstimulated, as he felt. "Don't worry about what's happening here," he said with a stern voice that was tinged with subdued sympathy. 

"Jasper's gonna be fine." He ran his eyes across hers, over to the three people behind her, addressing them all. The muscles in the girl's face unclenched and her lips pursed together. She was clearly unsatisfied with his answer but she also knew she wouldn't learn much more. 

"Everyone, back to what you were doing." Bellamy raised his voice to address the rest of the delinquents in that particular corner of the camp who all seemed to be concerned. Their stares bore into the temples of his head. "It's just Murphy being Murphy," he said angrily under his breath, as he clutched his gun, turned back to the door and began to assess the severity of the situation. He felt like he was going to fall over. A headache was coming on and Bellamy hadn't suffered from a headache since a few weeks ago when he came down off of that bad trip the Jobi nuts had him on. Even recently, after he caught the fever that the grounders sent to their camp, he recovered pretty smoothly. For most of his life, Bellamy was never really the type to fall ill but today? Today was a different story. It seemed emotional stress never did his body any good. And he had an extremely high tolerance for stress, which meant this had to be bad. He saw that the group wasn't heeding his words and were still gazing at each other, unsure of what to do. He rolled his eyes half way and irksomely turned his body, looking at the group out of his peripheral. "Now!" he shouted, with clear agitation in his voice. "Get back to work." Spikes of outrage lurched from a few of the kids in the crowd and slammed into Bellamy's backside, immediately penetrating his skin and making him feel awful. Bellamy knew it was unreasonable to ask them to forget what they just saw but it was all he knew to do. They slowly, and resentfully, redistributed themselves back to their tasks, kicking the dirt and spreading the news of Jasper's capture to those who were still confused about what had happened.   
     Bellamy hadn't felt this alone since his mother died. Clarke had only disappeared earlier that night and already things were spiraling out of control. He was starting to depend on Clarke's assistance, just like he had with his mother. After they floated her, he couldn't figure why he was even living anymore. Now with Clarke gone, he knew what he needed to do. He just didn't think he could do it. Not without some help. The sky was slowly going from a pitch black to a darkened blue with the stars becoming less and less discernible and the moon hanging lower on the horizon. Still, it was dark and they had to huddle around the fires or use flashlights for any kind of visibility. His shoulders were starting to feel heavy and a crushing feeling came down over his head. He just stood there, on the hill in front of the drop ship, for several minutes, trying to figure out his next move. His sight began to loose focus as he stared at the ground, tapping his fingers on the edge of his gun and thinking.   
     _Raven._ Bellamy's chest warmed up, as a tight feeling built up in his throat. He pressed his lids together and exhaled. Her name was so loaded now. The thought of her resonated with him. _What was happening with her anyway?_ They'd had quite a few sentimental moments within the last day. Some sex. Some arguing. He didn't understand it but it felt right, like he'd known her for much longer than he actually had. Some of that could certainly be attributed to the fact that she'd, with little effort, climbed on top of him and made him see stars. But something else, something more messy and intimate, developed the very second that he wrapped his arms around her. He felt like he'd exposed something about himself that he shouldn't have. That his touch was gentle. That he kissed with earnestness. That he so easily succumbed to Raven and swallowed all of his pride willfully, without pause. That there was a small thing in him that wanted so badly to be soft and generous. Now he was afraid that Raven expected it from him. _You wanna lead them? Show them you give a damn._ As soon as Raven stood up to him, Bellamy was ready to fight back. But now he was getting the sinking feeling that she wasn't wrong at all. She never said "give a damn". She said " _show them_ you give a damn". And even though he held firmly to his decision to not look for Clarke, Finn and Monty, he knew that what Raven said meant something. Bellamy oftentimes had a problem with _showing_. Especially after he lost his family. But that was something he hardly understood and didn't have time to think about, anyway. Bellamy had to get Jasper out of the drop ship and keep Murphy from causing anymore trouble. And he needed Raven in order to do it. He picked up his feet, one at a time, and careened down the hill, heading in the direction of the camp's entrance in hopes of finding her, wearing his anxiety cleanly upon his face. He hoped she wasn't still resenting him for staying. He understood exactly why she was so desperate to leave but failed to act like it. Like he'd thrown her passionate sensibilities back into her face. The ones he admired so much. 

    Raven wrapped the few feet of wire she had left over around her fingers and then shoved the bundle into her left pocket as she walked back toward the drop ship, still confused about where Jasper was with the gun powder she needed. The air was becoming less chilly and she could finally feel her fingers starting to thaw out. She raised her head and focused her vision in the direction of the ship only to see Bellamy coming toward her, his dark silhouette becoming clearer as her eyes adjusted to the light. Raven watched his hair blow away from his face. His cheeks were flushed as he jogged up and then slowed down completely once he got within two feet of her. He was out of breath but she could tell he was ready to say something important. 

"Murphy's got Jasper," Bellamy said plainly through labored breaths and a cold sweat. He looked a bit sickly.   
Raven's mouth hung slightly open and her eyes widened as she slowed to a halt.   
"And a gun." 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the hell happened?" Raven asked as they turned and walked, her expression one of subtle disbelief.

"Murphy's threatened to kill Jasper. He's got him held up in the drop ship. But he shut the door. There's no way we can unlock that door from the outside." Bellamy stopped completely and faced Raven. "I'm hoping I didn't hear Jasper right. But if I did, Murphy killed Miles," he said with a grimace. He saw a wave of unease cross Raven's face. She became overwhelmed with a new sense of urgency on top of the one she'd felt before. "And if I know Murphy, this has something to do with us wrongfully accusing him of killing Wells." Bellamy looked guilty but also angry, like he wanted to suffer the consequences of that choice but still knew that death wasn't necessarily a fair shake. "Jasper was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time." His voice trailed off slightly while he spoke and he lowered his head; a bit frustrated but mostly regretful. Raven hadn't been there when Wells was killed but she'd heard about what happened. Miller told her that Wells was murdered and Murphy almost took the wrap. She knew that Charlotte was gone. She knew in that moment Bellamy made a choice. And it was the wrong one for the right reasons. Raven stood there waiting for Bellamy to say something else but he just sort of stared at the ground. "Raven, I need your help," Bellamy said, as he lifted his brow and looked her in the eye, his mouth tense and upset. If Raven hadn't known any better, she would have thought Bellamy was simply being melodramatic but she could see why asking for her help was such a big deal. The Murphy situation was just part of it. Clarke was gone and he probably felt like he was losing his grip on this entire situation. He needed help, in more ways than one.   
     They both walked hastily but without drawing too much attention, back in the direction of the drop ship. They waded through the sea of tents that sat to the side of the ship, the lamps radiating a yellow glow off of the indigo sky. They passed by Bellamy's tent, which was bigger than most and the one they'd just spend a good forty minutes in, and Raven's emotive eyes moved from the tent back to the side of Bellamy's face. _Was he thinking about it as much as she was?_ _Was it weird?_ Kind of. Not really. Every once in a while, she found herself becoming overly conscious and shutting down, remembering how Bellamy watched her tear herself inside out and lay herself bare in plain sight. Only pushed to that point because she believed Clarke and Finn were off falling in love somewhere in the woods. She felt it was a mark of insecurity and foolishness, especially because she consciously made it bigger than it was by sleeping with Bellamy and being open about why she was hurt. The protective coating Raven was trying to repair was starting to wear down and it was becoming harder for her to hold back tears. She _almost_ cried in front of Bellamy about three times in the last 24 hours. Her stomach twisted into knots and she wanted to hit herself with something hard. She looked up and watched Bellamy's shoulders rise up and down as she tailed behind him, his hand gripping his gun like it always did. Raven believed that maybe she should be ashamed but Bellamy's eyes never agreed. Ever. He looked at her as though she had nothing to be ashamed of. That there was nothing especially wrong with her. And as simple as that sounded, it meant the world to her. She couldn't help but ache every time she thought about how scared Bellamy sounded earlier when he shared his reasoning with her and the rest of the camp. How much he wanted everyone to understand. Raven was feeling his devastation. She was hoping a numbness would build up soon so she could get her work done without any more major distractions. 

"I know this is just another thing on top of everything else," Bellamy said dishearteningly. "I wish that weren't the case. We just have to keep this quiet." Bellamy explained and kept walking briskly. Raven slowed down and fell back. 

"Hey," Raven whispered quietly, as she reached out and brushed Bellamy's arm, stopping him mid-walk. He looked down at her with a furrowed brow. "I'm...sorry about what I said earlier. About you not showing these guys that you care." 

Bellamy gulped. 

"I know you're trying," she said wholeheartedly, but awkwardly, as she dropped her arms and curled her hands up into loose fists. "I really do." She paused for a bit and then continued. "I'm just scared." 

"I know." Bellamy replied, almost unthinkingly. He was worried that no one in the camp believed he was truly losing his mind over his missing friends. He was afraid, too. Like he said, they _should_ be scared. There was an odd inflection in Raven's voice, almost like she wasn't sure if scared was the word. But it was. 

Raven found herself feeling coy about being so emotionally bound to this situation because of Finn. But Raven knew Bellamy was full aware of how personal it was so she didn't know why she was trying to hide it. 

"I just hate doing nothing," she said, releasing a deep breath and lightly tapping her foot. 

"I _know_ ," Bellamy said with a slower, softer voice this time, like he was agreeing. He looked at her with a saddened but warm expression. Their restlessness was shared and they were both beginning to feel that. _Nothing_ was a hard thing to do. Especially for the two of _them_. But Bellamy had learned over time that sometimes _nothing_ is exactly what you have to do. 

"And you're right. It'd be stupid to leave." Raven scoffed at herself and shook her head. "We need to stay here and protect the group," she stated reluctantly with a dimness in her eyes. Then she looked at Bellamy directly and inhaled again. "And that's not an easy decision to make...I understand that." She swallowed. Raven transformed into someone very meek whenever she apologized. She knew she tended toward a one-track state of mind when she found herself scared or in some kind of hyperactive trance and sometimes she would do things that came off as rash. Bellamy could have guessed how hard it was for her to utter those words. He knew she meant it, it just seemed she had a hard time knowing how to say it in a casual way. Raven didn't _feel_ it was the best thing to do. But she _knew_ it was. And now with Jasper's life in danger, their list of priorities was quickly rearranging. 

"But time is of the essence, right?" Raven quipped, shoving her restless hands back into her jacket pockets and motioning Bellamy to keep walking. 

"Let's get Jasper out of there." 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They discretely circled the back perimeter of the drop ship and spoke to one another with hushed voices. 

"Is there any way we can get inside without the front door?" Bellamy asked with inquisitive hopefulness. He knew Raven would say yes but he didn't know how plausible the options would be. "Do you think there's a door back here somewhere? One that would have been used for maintenance or emergencies?" 

"Probably." Raven sighed. She ran her hand across the blackened plates that peeked out from the weeds that had sprouted around the drop ship's base. "But wherever it is, it's gonna be sealed pretty tight. This steel has suffered some serious heat damage from dropping through the atmosphere. But if there _is_ a door, you can be damn sure I'll get it open." 

The drop ship. It was old. And Raven had never personally gotten to keep up its maintenance while up in the station. Most of her skills were relegated to special projects and fixing malfunctions around the essential, and heavily used, sections of the Ark. The drop ships were only inspected from time to time to make sure that none of their basic functions had suffered from any serious wearing or decay. No one suspected a drop ship would be used. But if this thing were built anything like the rest of the station then Raven knew she could find most of its operating systems and wiring hidden from the main level, away from the possibility of just anyone tampering with them. That meant there had to be a another way in. 

"What do you need?" Bellamy asked with his arms crossed, as they stopped once they reached the point they started at. 

Raven cocked her head. "Just a wrench and a little bit of time." 

"How much time?" An anxious expression passed across Bellamy's face. 

"Not long," Raven said confidently. 

"All right." Bellamy paused and exhaled uneasily, scanning the drop ship with his eyes. He bent forward and down, level with Raven, and supported himself with his hands on his knees. In a lower volume he said, "I want you to keep working on the landmines along the entrance and make sure you finish those before anything else." Raven opened her mouth like she intended to refute him before he finished his thought but he caught her. "Raven, I know how urgent this is," Bellamy said compassionately while they made direct eye contact. "But we've also got a gang of grounders on their way here right now, fully trained, ready to tear apart every person in this camp." Raven's eyes dropped slowly and she resigned herself. "They're all distracted because they know something's happened to Jasper. Their attention's completely turned away from the threat _outside_. I need you to at least try to keep up the work on your end," he pleaded.   
      Raven ran through the situation in her head. The importance of landmines seemed trivial at the time but she had a feeling they'd be important in the long run. Plus, she couldn't forget. She was a master multi-tasker. If there was anyone who could juggle both of these problems, it was her. But then she remembered. _The gun powder._ She leaned in toward Bellamy, who had been patiently watching her think. "Bellamy, all of our remaining gun powder _and_ ammo are in the ship," she said worriedly. "I have enough powder to finish a few more mines that are left in that section but if we don't get into the ship, we're still screwed."   
      Bellamy stared at Raven for a moment and then closed his eyes briefly, blinking downward with a worn out look on his face. Raven almost felt bad for bringing that to his attention. "You're right," he consented, sucking in his lips. "Then we'll have to manage both. And fast," Bellamy said with a lump in his throat, as he straightened up and back. Raven met Bellamy's eyes again and she stood up straight with him, releasing the tension that built up between their bodies as the huddled together near the back of the ship.

"You got this?" Bellamy asked, as he adjusted the gun strap on his arm and pulled it up further over his shoulder. 

"Absolutely," Raven responded, in her usual self-assured tone. Bellamy didn't even need to ask. 

He turned away and began to jog back toward the front of the ship. Raven began to turn away too but she quickly stopped her self and doubled back. 

"Wait. Bellamy." She waited for him to catch her voice. "What are you gonna do in the meantime?" 

Bellamy stopped and turned with his walkie, Raven's greatest idea, gripped tightly in his hand. He knew he had to keep Murphy distracted. If he figured out Bellamy had a plan, he'd kill Jasper for sure. He just needed to keep the situation defused for a few hours, at most; keep Murphy talking. "I'll figure something out. Don't worry about it," he said ironically. "The minute the sun starts to rise and you have better visibility, get back here and try to find any opening you can. I have a feeling it won't be hard, just let me know what you find as soon as you do." 

"Got it." Raven bowed her head and nodded him off. "Just...don't do anything stupid," she said with clever smile. 

"Right" Bellamy said sarcastically, pivoting slowly and continuing his trek up the side of the slope. 

As he rounded the corner of the camp and climbed back up the hill to the front of the drop ship he walked with a bit more ease than he had before. It was easier to breath knowing he had a plan. He was acting as himself, and Clarke, at this point, even if half of the camp didn't agree to it that change. The sinister notion that he'd probably lose some of these kids to death within the next 24 hours made his heart sink and a dark haze seemed to fall over everything his eyes could see. He couldn't escape the idea. He felt it'd be irresponsible if he did. But his sense of dedication to everyone was so strong, and in some ways debilitating, he didn't want to risk letting them down because he couldn't see past the cureless nature of the world they were struggling to live in. Bellamy had to find some way to get Jasper out of there, no matter what it was, meaning he'd probably have to resort to some reckless approach, which Raven easily assumed. She warned him not to do anything foolish but he really knew she was just offering him her blessing. Raven was becoming less of a pain in the ass and more of a solid partner. Having her close released some of the pressure in his chest. Somehow, she was now the most trustworthy person he knew. And if they were going to have any chance at making it through this fight, she had to stick around. 

Bellamy wasn't as alone as he thought he was. He had some serious backup.


End file.
